When is Enough, Enough?

Am I the only one who wakes up singing songs or with songs in my head? A few weeks ago, for like a whole week, I woke up singing “Beautiful Loser” by Bob Seger. Today’s song is from Kanye West’s new Album, “Jesus is King”…there is a song that is called, “Follow God”. The lines that I woke up to (in my head) says something like, “I am just trying to find, I’ve been looking for a new way, I am just trying not to do the fool way…Father I stretch my hands to you.” Pretty freakin’ amazing that God is using Kanye like he is. I hope that he continues to do so because it is amazing.

I actually started writing the above yesterday and woke up with yet another Kanye West song in my mind LOL…Today’s is “God Is”…another amazing song that talks about how letting God into your heart change your life.

Anyway…back to the songs that play over and over in my head in the morning. I know that they mean something…or I can make them mean something. I am not sure. All that I know is that I can feel myself changing every day. Something amazing is happening. I can feel it coming.

I have been blessed with so much. So much. Now, it came with a LOT of hard work and dedication on my part…but the bottom line is this: It is not MY doing, it is His. My success is a blessing. I have been given a gift and it is my duty in life to do good with it. I know this. I can feel it with every part of me.

I was asked a few days ago, by several people within the same day, “When does it stop?”…meaning my increased goals…like when is enough production, enough?? It kind of stopped me in my tracks because we (my team and I) have been struggling with this question and so have I personally. My ambition within me urges me to continuously set higher goals for myself just because I like to push my limits of what I can do…and then there’s the ego. Damn ego. My honest no-bullshit answer is two-fold here…my Jen ego does indeed love to be the top loan officer in San Antonio. The other part though, is that the more that we have done in production, the more that I have been able to bless others. Whether that be the random things that I do that I don’t and won’t talk about in detail, to charity, to mentoring, to helping my family, friends etc. The money I am making is not only changing my life, I am able to change others’ lives too and that is really freakin’ cool to be able to do. So the question is: How do I just do it for my second reason without letting my big old head get in the way? I hope that I figure that out. I think I am getting there. All I know is that I want to help people.

So I think my answer is my “enough” will be that line where I can have a very full life outside of work (a balanced life) and work layered-focusedly (if this is a word…I may have just made it up LOL) when I am at the office 9-5pm (with a little flexibility here). Who I first started in this business, I was proud of the fact that I worked 7 days a week. Now, I think that anyone that does that is missing out on something important….it is called LIFE. Side note…for those of you who are proud and boast about working 7 days a week and all hours, you are a giant ding-dong. That is nothing to be proud of.

My hope is that I can be a good example to others and show them what a profound effect one person can have on another. A hug. Listening. Helping. Giving. Giving more than you think you should or want to. I can tell you, and I think that I have said this before in a previous post, once you start to give and bless others, it WILL come back to you 10-fold. I promise. Then you can do more.

If you don’t know where to start…how about starting with picking an Angel off of the Angel Tree? Yes, it is that time of year. Mary, Ryan and I did this recently. We took pretty much the whole tree…8 kids each, all older kids from St. Judes because we have found that those are the ones who are left out the most…and I am not saying that to brag. You will see why in a second.

When I looked over this list, it made me cry. It is still making me cry as I write this because after reading what their “Wish List” was, it was all such basic stuff….like socks, clothes, a toiletry bag, hoodie…stuff that we take for granted every day. THAT is what they want for Christmas. They don’t have that stuff. It made me so sad. Shit. Talk about putting things into perspective. Here I am in my nice comfy home with so much more than I could ever need and these kids need freakin’ socks. Socks. For Christmas. Most kids that I know would be pissed if they got socks for Christmas. Yeah, still have tears streaming down my face. Ok God. I get it.

So, anyone who is reading this, please go do something. Whatever moves you…but dammit do SOMETHING for someone else. Go pick an Angel. Do something for someone else who either needs your time or your assistance. Not only will it change someone’s situation, it will change you.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: