The Life That Could Have Been

A long-time friend of my father’s passed away today and, like most people, my reaction was sadness for his family followed by the thought of all of our own mortality. The life of my parents, friends, other loved ones and of course, myself. Death does that to us. It makes us pause for a little while.

Then, as my mind does most times, my initial thoughts lead me to others. My reflection then developed into me thinking about choices and how important they are, even when you don’t think they are. Choices.

You don’t realize how much one teeny tiny choice can affect your entire life. Your path. Your ENTIRE freakin’ life. We make them every day and don’t even give them a second thought.
Go left here instead of right. I want to eat this food. Sit here. Stand up. Sleep late. Sit on the couch all day. Go to work. Stay home. Work out or not work out. Take my medicine. Wash my hands. Have I turned you into a neurotic yet? LOL That is a lot of pressure there!

And then there is bigger choices that we make like where we will live, who we will marry, how we want to live…or what kind of person do we want to be? I think back to those choices in particular that I have made and it is amazing how different my life would have been if I had “gone the other way” or if I had not taken the chance.

My aunt used to date my father’s friend when she was younger. How disparate their lives would have been if they had stayed together. Two entire generations would not have been born. They would not exist. BUT, alas they do because he and she decided not to stay together.

His life, his child, his wife and his family…none of it would have been the same.


As I have mentioned before, my whole life when I was younger was consumed with me wanting to be a physician. I went to college and met some friends who then turned around and moved to sunny San Clemente, California. One day, after it snowed in Buffalo, I made the choice that I was going to quit school and move to CA.

That choice led to me completely doing a 180 and not even graduate college to work in the mortgage industry full time. Of course, there were a million other smaller choices along the way, but me moving to CA set me on a path that was so completely opposite of the one that I was on. I think about that a lot…like I wonder often what my life would have been like had I not moved. I wonder where I would have ended up?

I think of all of the people that I have met along the way because of the choices that I made? Would there have been a different version of those same people in a different city or state? Shit, now I am thinking too much!

I just think that the whole concept is so fascinating though…that there is a life out there that we could have had if we had made different choices. Would that life have been better? I am sure it would have in some cases, but some not.

Are there some choices that I wish that I would not have made? Hell yeah. But the cool thing about choices is that you can just make some more that are good instead of stupid! 🙂 Starting right NOW!

Some of the decisions we make will also have unknown consequences…the random stuff and the little stuff. It is just that way! We will find out soon enough.

Then I start to wonder how many parallel alternate universes there are with different version of me living out alternative versions of myself with different choices that I had made with the same circumstances. Is that weird? Prolly.

I think though, that we should not minimize the importance of the things we do, the ideas we have, the people that we meet. Opportunities in front of us. Past behind us. There is nothing that you can do about the “bad” or unhealthy decisions you made previously…BUT there is something you can do about the moments that present themselves to you now. The neat thing is that right in front of you there is a way to completely take your life and put it on a different path. It would be awesome to see where God takes ya!

I guess, my point is this: Instead of dwelling and wishing for the, “Life that could have been” enjoy  the life that is. Understand that you have the ability to pick and change anything you want about your  life for the most part…and that is pretty damn cool.

I CHOSE to climb on top of this clock with no shoes on! I wonder if this decision will take me in a different direction than I was originally going?? I don’t know! We shall see.

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