In the darkest places…

It has been a while, God, since I have been at this place. You tell me to “trust you” and that everything will be ok. I will see… “Soon,” you say. 
There are things that I can only see in my stillness and when I rest my weary body. The person you want me to be…the person I was MADE to be, she is there, waiting for me to be ready. I know that I can never be satisfied with only thinking about you and knowing you intellectually. When I search for You, I will know you experientially. There’s a difference.
You tell me that I can’t have a testimony, unless there’s a test. I get it. I now have a lot of dang testimonies, God. A LOT. I will share them wisely, with others so they know the power that you have to turn what is meant for harm into good. 
I am scared right now, God. I need you to wrap your arms around me and provide me with your comfort. The kind only you can give. When I whisper your name so softly, please come stand next to me. Protect me with your armor as I prepare for the battle ahead. I feel so weak right now and my body is tired. I need your strength, Lord. The kind only You can give.

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