4 AM Conversations

In the tranquil moments before sunrise, I lie in bed, wide awake with tears running down the sides of my eyes into my hair. I am laying there just looking up into a ceiling that I cannot see.
A million things run through my mind that kept me stirring all night…never quite letting me get a good sleep. Never once did my Michael get irritated with me when I woke him up all throughout the night with either my random hugs or when I ran my fingers through his hairy chest. He would just wake up for a few moments and mumble, “Baby, I love you” and then start his peaceful purring once again. 
Lord take this worry from me.
    Stop worrying about what you don’t know yet, there is no use. Worrying does not add once hour to your precious life.

This “waiting time”…it is freakin’ torture, God. I know that there is something wrong with me…but what, Lord?
    I am waiting with you, Jen. I am here.

Jesus, heal me. Please. Let the doctors find out what is wrong with me so that I can just deal with it…fix it. I am scared, Lord.
    Do not be afraid, I am with you. I am your shield. I will grant you peace. You just need to be still. Please do not be discouraged my dear one.

God, reveal to me what I am in for. I NEED to know. How will my life be changed? Will I get back to normal?
    Your present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory the will be revealed to you. Don’t be anxious about anything, my child, but pray to me with thanksgiving in your heart. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Be present and we will take one day at a time…together.

Okay, Father. I trust You. I will rest in You and wait.
    My dear child, yes, trust Me with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. Remember, My Love will never fail you. It rejoices in the Truth, it always protects, always hopes, always trusts, and always perseveres. My Love never fails.

I close my eyes and I feel better. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Thank you so much for reading today. I hope that I made you smile and think a little bit. Be sure to check out my Podcast on iTunes, Soundcloud and Stitcher —- Jen’s 10 G’s

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