To the One I Left Behind

To the One I Left Behind,
I have left you, and I am never coming back to you.
You were so selfish and cold-hearted sometimes. You didn’t care too much about anyone else besides yourself. You lied and even cheated. You never gave anyone your full attention and had no problem running over anyone that got in your way.
You were cynical and jaded. Negative and bitter. You judged others a lot and made unfair assumptions about who they were.
Sure, you were nice sometimes, but it was only a “surface” nice because you never let anyone get too close to you. Vulnerability…nah…that wasn’t your style. You preferred walls. Tall ones.
Your career came first and it was more important than your family was. Your relationships suffered.
You didn’t know all of the good things that God had in store for you. How could you? You didn’t know Jesus back then. You didn’t think that you needed to. You only knew what you wanted you to know. You squelched that voice inside of you. You pushed that sucker so far down deep that it could not be heard no matter how loud it screamed. And boy, did it scream loudly for many years.
Until the day that you heard it. I mean, really heard it. And once it started talking, it never stopped. You didn’t want it to. You desired it with all of your heart. Sought it out. It encompassed your mind.
And you began to change. It was subtle at first, but boy did it constantly progress until one day, you looked back and saw the shell of the person you once were… and smiled. You were completely transformed from the inside-out. 
A new you emerged who was happier, joyful, loving and peace. A light turned on that could not be dimmed.
And then……
I realized, it’s all about the cross. Nothing is about me. It is about love and about others. It is about believing and seeking with all of my heart. It is about trusting Him with ALL of the intimate details in my life.
I realized that real meaning comes from surrender…from taking out my heart and extending it out to the mighty Lord so that He can do whatever He wants with it. This change…it STARTED with my heart.
God’s word changes hearts. My identity, beliefs and behaviors may have changed for a lifetime…but they have consequences that last for eternity. 
I have learned that I am never alone. He is always with me, even when I cannot see it. It is about taking God out of my back pocket or that box I’ve tried to shove Him in and realizing that He’s too big for that. His presence is everywhere. I am not in control. It is His will be done, not mine and I am good – more than good, with that. Thank you, Jesus.
So, I said goodbye to the one I left behind. I am a new creation, a new being. An eternal being here on this earth for a period of time, but in heaven for eternity.
I don’t miss the one I left behind. My sins are forgiven. I am cleansed. I am born again. I am saved. My life – the rest of it – will never be the same.
I have been fully crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me. And the life I now live in the flesh. I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Thank you so much for reading today. I hope that I made you smile and think a little bit. Be sure to check out my Podcast on iTunes, Soundcloud and Stitcher —- Jen’s 10 G’s

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